What if the devil made house calls?
by malitrix89
Summary: this is a big action romance story. this is skuld story) also may i remind you that skuld is 17 in this story enjoy and review... please review!


What if the devil made house calls? 

By: Brian Lay pen name: Malitrix89

Cast of characters: 

**Age: 21 Belldandy: goddess of the present; enjoys drinking tea, lots and lots of tea**

**Age: 23 Chihiro: Keiichi's boss and coworker. Always in his business.**

**Age: 24 Keiichi: college student also the member of N.I.T Motor Club**

**Age: 20 Mara: the "Devil" in Keiichi's mind or pants... whichever suits her mood (I think I said too much)**

**Age: 22 Megumi: Keiichi's younger sister; has her own apartment but seems to always pester Keiichi and lives mostly in his house.**

**Age: 24 Sayoko: former Nekomi Tech queen**

**Age: 19 Skuld: goddess of the future; loves ice cream, maybe even more then torturing Keiichi.**

**Age: 23 Sora: fellow member of the N.I.T Motor Club; seems to have a different personality when she's drunk.**

**Age: 28 Ootaki: leader of the N.I.T Motor Club. He tends to leave all the work to Keiichi, also Keiichi's best friend.**

**Age: 26 Tamiya: sub leader of the N.I.T Motor Club, Keiichi's best friend.**

**Age: 30 Urd: goddess of the past; she enjoys drinking exaggerating amounts of sake.**

**Seen yet unseen **

**(It is early in the morning and the temple is silent except for the sounds of sweeping in the yard. Keiichi wakes up to find a certain someone's body draped over him...)**

**Skuld: morning Keiichi baby... (She whispers tenderly)**

**Keiichi: (slowly waking up) morning... Why are you in my bed (slowly taking in what he just said.) wait... you're in my bed... OH MY GOD!!! YOU ARE IN MY BED!!! **

**Skuld: yes and you were very gentle last night. (She giggled)**

**Keiichi: this can't be happening... you and I just couldn't have done it.**

**Skuld: oh come on! You are always in denial. How do you like this? **

**(She leans over and kisses him firmly on the lips)**

**Keiichi: maybe just a bit... (He starts to lose control of his thoughts and then he starts to lean towards Skuld.)**

**Skuld: maybe you would like more then a kiss... (She starts to lean back as he starts to advance) (She then starts to rub him in the most err... inappropriate place)**

**Keiichi: (blood starts to drip from his nose) err... we shouldn't, but...**

**(Just as he was completely on top of her Belldandy enters in on their little "game")**

**Belldandy: good morning Keiichi! (She is completely oblivious to the fact that Keiichi is on top of her sister)**

**Keiichi: it's not what it looks like!**

**Belldandy: oh I see... so you didn't just over sleep. (She teases him)**

**Keiichi: Skuld was just... err ok I over slept a bit.**

**Belldandy: what were you about to say about Skuld?**

**Keiichi: nothing. I'll be out in a second. Could you go outside so I can change my cloths?**

**(Belldandy leaves feeling kind of disappointed about not sticking around to see his body)**

**Skuld: ok the game is over I guess... (Skuld transforms back into Mara) so how'd you like the show?**

**Keiichi: that was you?! What do you have against me?! I didn't do anything to provoke you!!!**

**Mara: sorry but the almighty assigned me here. Besides it's fun to mess around with your head. Anyway I think you're kind of cute (she winks at him and then she disappears by blowing up his boom box) as she leaves she shouts out "by the way! No one can see me but you"**

**Keiichi: (Thought: that is too much for the morning)**

**Too much of a good thing**

**(At the Whirlwind)**

**Chihiro: so Keiichi boy! How are the girls?**

**Keiichi: Skuld is just fine... she is soooo fine (he starts to drift into his dream like state)**

**Chihiro: I said girlssss!!!**

**Keiichi: they're fine. Err just pretend you didn't hear the first part. **

**Chihiro: oh I don't know... bet Skuld would love to hear that you keep mentioning her fine figure.**

**Keiichi: what if I treat you to dinner?**

**Chihiro: deal! (Thought: sucker!) Back to work now! No more idle chit chat**

**(Somewhere in Skuld's laboratory, she drifts into a disturbing a dream...)**

**(Dream)**

**Skuld: (waking up to find Keiichi caressing her) Keiichi what do you think you are doing!? **

**Keiichi: I see you're finally awake. (His voice full of passion or something like it hehehe)**

**Skuld: I will not be touched that way! And you should not be here!**

**Keiichi: how about this... (He starts kissing her lips tenderly)**

**Skuld: better... wait this should not be! You like my sister, not me.**

**Keiichi: that's not true love, I always liked you.**

**(After speaking he starts kissing her neck. She starts moaning)**

**Keiichi: wake up Skuld!**

**(Dream ends)**

**Belldandy: wake up Skuld!**

**Skuld: damn it's that same dream again!**

**Belldandy: still dreaming about your mystery boy?**

**Skuld: err... yeah, mystery boy. (Thought: if she found out she would kill me!)**

**Belldandy: (thought: she must have messed up her panties again.) (Sigh...) just make sure you wash those panties yourself.**

**Skuld: did you have to say it out loud! Besides I didn't get that far in to the dream to get... (Blush)**

**Belldandy: I get the picture! (Shivering) I don't really want to know what you and dream boy do.**

**Skuld: hehehe, I could describe it to you since you seem to be so curious... **

**Belldandy: you are a disturbed young lady... (She runs out the door before Skuld get into details)**

**Skuld: (thought: Keiichi... one day I won't be able to help but get you once and for all)**

**(Back to where Keiichi is working)**

**Chihiro: (staring at Keiichi with extreme focus) (thought: mmm that's some fine piece of ass!)**

**Keiichi: you ever been stalked before? **

**Chihiro: well no.**

**Keiichi: It's like you know someone's behind you and you turn around and you don't see anyone. But when you turn back around you can feel them staring and you can almost hear their thought "because I need some sexual healing!" That's what it I feel like when you keep staring at my ass!**

**Chihiro: is it that obvious? Well I have a reason!**

**Keiichi: and that would be?**

**Chihiro: I haven't had some for a _very_ long time. Err... scratch that, that was a very out of character moment.**

**Keiichi: yes that was. May I leave now?**

**Chihiro: (she locks the doors) I really can't help it! I'm sorry but I need release!!! (She starts to jump on Keiichi but Keiichi ran in to the employee bathroom and climb out the window)**

**Keiichi: (Running) Hire a gigolo or maybe buy a vibrator! I can't take having to run away from you after work all the time!**

**Chihiro: come back Keiichi baby! I need releaseeee!!!**

**(After work at the general food store)**

**Keiichi: today's someone' anniversary, so could I get a dozen roses...**

**Store clerk: and the usual?**

**Keiichi: yes. Except make it flower ice cream, I bet she never tried anything like it before...**

**Store clerk: oh! I see, today's your girlfriend's anniversary. I got just the thing! **

**(Turns around and grabs a long roll of condoms) here you go! Free of charge.**

**Keiichi: err... sure why not?**

**Belldandy! You are so evil!!! (No not really)**

**Keiichi: home sweet home!**

**Belldandy: oh my goddess! Are those flowers for me?!**

**Keiichi: no, I mean yes! Do you like them?**

**Belldandy: oh my they're so beautiful. Oh, and what's this? (Staring at the roll of condoms in the bag) my my my...**

**Keiichi: it' not what it looks like!**

**Belldandy: oh I didn't see anything, but just to let you know that I'll be in my room if you ever wonder where I am. (She winks at him)**

**Keiichi: yeah... I know (big sweat drop)**

**(Keiichi yet again dodges another sexual moment. He walks to Skuld's laboratory to put the ice cream in her fridge. Unknowingly, Skuld was in the lab fixing Banpi)**

**Keiichi: Skuld will love this stuff for sure! (Singing "luck be a lady")**

**Skuld: (hiding near a pile of machinery) I wonder...**

**Keiichi: (he managed to swipe one rose away from Belldandy) and for a finishing touch! (He puts the rose next to the ice cream) **

**(Keiichi leaves the lab in quick strides of happiness)**

**Skuld: oh, my Keiichi... (She blushes)**

**(She later gulps down half the gallon of fancy ice cream)**

**Skuld: mmm, ice cream... (Goes in to hyper perkiness mode and then falls asleep)**

**(Dream)**

**Mara (transformed in to Urd): sorry Keiichi boy! (Runs in to the bathroom before he does)**

**(In the hallway, Keiichi waits in line for the bathroom)**

**Skuld: Hi Keiichi! (Kisses him on the cheek) I love the ice cream! I love you! (Perkiness disappears) oh my goddess! Please tell me you didn't hear that... please don't hate me... (She bursts to tears and runs to her lab)**

**Mara: sorry you had to go through that. But again I must say that you life is pretty fucked up to begin with. (Burst in to fits of laughter)**

**Keiichi: I always carry a lucky charm (taking out a bag of lucky charms™)**

**Mara: err... wrong kind kiddo! (She vanishes with a laugh)**

**Keiichi: some people do have a sense of humor after all. (He starts munching on the cereal)**

**(Author's note: sorry about that. I kind of drifted from the moment. I promise that won't happen again) (back to the moment)**

**Keiichi: (knocking on the door) come on Skuld, let me in! I want to talk.**

**Skuld: (on the other side of the door) you hate me now! There's nothing to talk about!**

**Keiichi: I don't hate you! In fact I love you too.**

**Skuld: I don't believe you...**

**Keiichi: fine then! I LOVE SKULD!!! I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW I LOVE SKULD AND THAT I ALWAYS LOVED HER!**

**(Belldandy and Urd orbs in on the conversation and the confession of love)**

**Belldandy: (tears stream down her cheeks) fine! The wish is voided then! So be it...**

**Urd: I see someone is taking a liking on the cute one... (She laughs one last time)**

**(Both Belldandy and Urd leave to the heavens)**

**Keiichi: I love you... (He whispers one last time)**

**(The door opens to find a happy and crying Skuld)**

**Skuld: (still crying) I love you too. (She leans forward and kisses him)**

**(The dream ends as their lips meet)**

**(Skuld awakes to find Keiichi in his chair just smiling at her)**

**Skuld: (whipping the tears from her dream) why were you staring at me?**

**Keiichi: you looked like you were having a bad dream, but then when I sat down I saw you smile and then I felt like smiling because I know you must have dreamt something sweet after all.**

**Skuld: you're right, I did dream something sweet (thought: that would be you, my sweet Keiichi)**

**Bitter sweet love**

**(In Keiichi's room)**

**Mara: you really are falling in love aren't you?**

**Keiichi: all thanks to you my mind is going nuts!**

**Mara: I was sent to make trouble but I guess now I'm cupid in a way aren't I?**

**Keiichi: you sure are screwy enough.**

**Mara: so how are you to doing?**

**Keiichi: I haven't told Belldandy yet about my thoughts. I know I'm a wimp but I couldn't break her heart like that. **

**Mara: face it! You love them both.**

**Keiichi: you know, you are no help at all! You're just here to play with my mind.**

**Mara: since I'm no help I'll just leave... for now.**

**(Belldandy is eavesdropping in on Keiichi talking to himself)**

**Belldandy: (Thought: who else can he love aside from me? Am I not women enough for him?!)**

**(Skuld knocks on Keiichi's door)**

**Skuld: could you drive me to the parts shop**

**Keiichi: sure thing! I'll go prep the motorcycle.**

**Skuld: sure, ok I'll wait. (Thought: sigh... finally some alone time with him)**

**(On the road)**

**Keiichi: hold on tight!**

**Skuld: (hugging him) I will! Just keep you eyes on the road. (Thought: he's so warm)**

**Keiichi: (blushing) yeah... just like that.**

**(After they when to the parts shop they when to the general store)**

**Store clerk: the usual, sir? Will it be flower ice cream again?**

**Keiichi: that depends on what she wants.**

**Skuld: vanilla please.**

**Store clerk: so you are the lucky lady. He is always here to buy ice cream.**

**Skuld: (thought: oh Keiichi...) and yet I still manage to stay thin.**

**Store clerk: so Keiichi, will you be buying more flowers for your lady?**

**Keiichi: yes. Make it two dozen this time. I kind of messed up yesterday... (Blushing)**

**Skuld: how so?**

**(They walk out of the general store)**

**Keiichi: Belldandy thought those flowers were for her. **

**Skuld: why the flowers? **

**Keiichi: it was your anniversary on earth... (Stuttering)**

**Skuld: oh Keiichi...**

**(Mara in the shadows)**

**Mara: come on kiss already!**

**(As she said that she used her magic and made them lean forward in to a quick kiss)**

**Keiichi: (blushing) I don't know what came over me.**

**Skuld: (blushing) I don't know what's happening here but... (She hugs him) I like it.**

**(Urd hides on top of the trees)**

**Urd: I never knew he could be so romantic, oh no... Belldandy is not going to like this. Better not tell anyone.**

**(Mara appears next to her)**

**Urd: hi Mara-Chan. **

**Mara: he sure can romance a woman can't he?**

**Urd: I taught him every thing I know.**

**Mara: (fading away laughing) that's why they call you the goddess of love.**

**Urd: yes, that's right... goddess of love. (She too fades away back to the temple)**

**(Night time)**

**(Keiichi and Skuld go in to the temple hand in hand)**

**Belldandy: oh my gosh! What do you think you are doing to my boyfriend?!!**

**Keiichi: I can explain! (Blushing deeply)**

**Skuld: Mara cast a spell on our hands! Now we can't separate them! (Author's note: this is just an excuse)**

**Belldandy: lets get Urd to help then. **

**(After an hour of Belldandy's frantic search)**

**Urd: so it's a glue spell! It doesn't require medicine. **

**Belldandy: what does it need?**

**Urd: (trying to keep a straight face) Keiichi and Skuld have to kiss!**

**Skuld: (blush) can me and Keiichi be alone for a moment then?**

**(Urd leaves last)**

**Urd: (whispering to Skuld) you owe me one for this kiddo...**

**(Now Skuld and Keiichi are all alone)**

**Skuld: (teasing) pucker up...!**

**(Keiichi kisses her fully on the lips and they stayed that way for a long while. When their eyes opened Belldandy and Urd were looking at them)**

**Belldandy: looks like their hands are free but their lips look a bit stuck!**

**Keiichi: (sheepishly laughing) Urd sure knows her remedies**

**Skuld: (blushing) yeah...**

**Urd: Bell, you think you should go make dinner?**

**Belldandy: (glaring at Skuld) yeah... dinner.**

**(After Belldandy left Urd started to look at them with a smile)**

**Urd: (teasing the new couple) wow, a world record! A total of 2.9 minutes, that's the longest I've ever seen someone kiss!**

**Skuld: were you spying on us?!**

**Urd: oh come on sis! I'm the goddess of love! You think I don't know?**

**Keiichi: kind of weird right? I mean knowing so much.**

**Urd: hey lover boy, there wasn't anything on T.V. (softly laughing) **

**(Mara appears next to Keiichi)**

**Keiichi: so can you see her? (Speaking to Urd)**

**Urd: yeah, I can.**

**Mara: I what a fine mess this is! **

**Skuld: who are you guys talking to? (Staring at Urd and Keiichi talking to an empty seat)**

**Keiichi: Mara... reveal yourself!**

**Mara: not yet Keiichi boy... not yet (she fades way with a smile)**

**Skuld: so who were you talking to?**

**Urd: when the time comes you will know. Better go and set up the table you two.**

**(They all get up and leave to go to the dining room.)**

**(Belldandy is in the kitchen deep in thought)**

**Belldandy: I hope Skuld is not trying to steal my Keiichi away or else there will be hell to pay!**

**Urd: what's this about having hell to pay? **

**Belldandy: honestly... do you think that there is something going on between those two?**

**Urd: I can't tell you that! **

**Belldandy: why not?**

**Urd: I have my reasons...**

**Belldandy: the only way you would keep secrets is for those in love... in love... (As the words slowly seeps in to her mind her eyes start to tear up and she runs in to the dining room to see Keiichi cuddling up to Skuld)**

**Belldandy: you will pay Keiichi Morisato!!! You will pay!!!**

**(Belldandy vanished in a puff of blood red smoke)**

**(Skuld cries on Keiichi's shoulder while Keiichi is still trying to absorbed what just happened)**

**Urd: I think she just turned demon on us...**

**Mara: I don't think so, I know so...**

**(In Nifelheim)**

**Hilda: do you really want to give up your goddess blood to become demon?**

**Belldandy: yes! Take it away! I must get revenge.**

**Hilda: this may take awhile...**

**(As the agonizing transformation began the story slowly drifts back to the two lovers)**

**Keiichi: we have to do something!**

**Skuld: my sister can't turn demon... right?**

**Urd: Belldandy is part demon.**

**Keiichi: how did that happen?**

**Skuld: Vesper and Belldandy are doublets, they share blood.**

**Keiichi: so she was half demon this whole time...**

**Urd: but it wasn't naturally caused so the system didn't investigate it any further.**

**Mara: all this time I was trying to mess up her life and now I find that it was already fucked up as it was... talk about irony!**

**Urd: sad to say but it's true.**

**Keiichi: so what do we do now?**

**Skuld: we wait...**

**(The next day in Nifelheim)**

**Hilda: I have turned you into a full demon. (Exhausted from the energy transfer)**

**Belldandy: thank you my queen. Now I can exact my vengeance...**

**Hilda: Do what you must but Urd must stay out of this!**

**Belldandy: I promise my queen... I just want Keiichi to suffer!**

**(Morning at the temple)**

**Keiichi: good morning sweet heart!**

**Skuld: morning... (Yawn) ... love**

**Urd: please don't go all love and stuff on me until I had my morning sake.**

**(Mara appear near Keiichi)**

**Mara: you guys are going to make me throw up! **

**Keiichi: Aww looks like Mara is jealous! (Teasing)**

**Skuld: got to find you a man one day.**

**Urd: let's go down by my room and pop open a case of sake or two**

**Mara: right behind you!**

**(Belldandy's room in Nifelheim)**

**Belldandy: (thought: I think I'll use this mind control spell with conjunction to the transformation spell) look out Keiichi because your life is going to get worse by the minute!**

**(N.I.T. Motor Club)**

**Sora: is it just me or do you guys hear voices? **

**Ootaki: dah... I always hear voices.**

**Tamiya: yeah voices...**

**(Belldandy enters their mind)**

**Belldandy: (starting to chat incantation) weak of mind... fire for water... water for lightning...hate for love... from now on you will bend me!!! Now get the mortal called Keiichi Morisato!**

**(The three possessed idiots go and find Keiichi)**

**Ootaki: Keiichi... we have come to take you to our mistress!**

**Keiichi: Urd! A little help here! (A bit of panic in his voice)**

**Urd: Urd lightning bolt! (A big lightning blot hits the three mind controlled idiots completely frying what is left of their brain)**

**Ootaki: dah... that hurt (then he passed out along with Sora and Tamiya)**

**Pointless to hopeless in three flashes of light**

**Keiichi: so why were you trying to attack me Ootaki?**

**Ootaki: me and da gang wa tryen to find ja so we like find Bell and I forgot da rest...**

**Skuld: I ran a scan on Sora and found a mind alters program... she's trying to use our friends against use.**

**Urd: if it's a fight she wants then so be it!**

**(For the next two days Skuld is in her lab building something)**

**Skuld: introducing my newest invention! The dimension ripper 240! It can go to different dimensions and abduct people from various comics and games.**

**Keiichi: let's try this thing shall we? (Threw in a copy of "The All New Tenchi Muyo") Tenchi!**

**Tenchi: (words before teleportation) oh yes Ryoko! Do me!!!**

**Keiichi Skuld: too much information... (Big sweat drop)**

**Urd: okay my turn! (She threw in her copy of Ninja Gaiden) Ryu Hyabusa!**

**Ryu: (seconds before he confessed to Rachel) Rachel... I love you!**

**Urd: No!!! Ryu was supposed to be a bad ass!!!**

**Ryu: who are you people and why do I look all cartooned?!!**

**Skuld: we are...**

**Ryu: you are fiends!!! Prepare to taste blade you filth! (Drawing his Dragon Blade)**

**Urd: Urd lightning bolt! (Zapping Ryu to the state of unconscious) lights out ninja boy!**

**Skuld: one last time! (Threw in a copy of Evangelion) Misato!**

**Misato: (seconds after opening the fridge) we're out of sake!!!**

**Urd: you've come the right place! Follow me, Mara you coming?**

**(The three alcohol addicted women walked to the nearest bar to get drunk)**

**Skuld: so we got a horny and disturbed dude, an unconscious bad ass, and...**

**Keiichi: ... and another Urd.**

**Skuld: yeah... what to go get some ice cream while these guys are still snoozing?**

**Keiichi: sure. (The scene fades away as Keiichi and Skuld mounted on a motorcycle and drives to the nearest ice cream parlor)**

To Be continued

sorry if it's abit long


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